I don’t know if one in a hundred of her acquaintances realized she was a sociopath. Or someone might say, “well, she’s not very antisocial.” Let’s look at that. I’m sure she carefully thought out her attack on the Marshall fortune. She was also an incompetent parent, with her son paying the ultimate price. It was reported that she then sold the last pictures of her son for six figures. This would not at all be surprising. It would be a mistake for someone to say, “OK, she fooled me, but I’d see through a antisocial or violent sociopath.” I suspect that’s not true.

Years ago at a job in another investment bank, we had a co-worker who I believe belonged in a mental hospital — I would be happy to testify at an involuntary commitment hearing for his commitment. Of all the tens of sociopaths and handful of pseudologues I have known, only two or three, in my opinion, belonged in mental hospitals for the criminally insane. This individual was reputed to be, and in my opinion was, an equal opportunity blackmailer of married women and married or closeted gay/bisexual males and a Dress Gray rapist (he would only rape straight males who were smaller than him and who he figured would not want a public trial). Dominance was the name of his game, but he knew when he could get away with rape and when he should seduce. Neither blackmail or rape are technically crimes if the victim doesn’t press charges. For him, and other sociopaths, such crimes are crimes without consequence. I consider him the single most destructive sociopath I have ever met. However the vast majority of co-workers thought he was A-OK (though a very small group disliked him on instinct almost instantly (I was not one of them, however, I came to my opinion slowly)). Only the victims and a small number of us realized what he was.

At one point, I was talking to a Senor Vice President of HR regarding him. She flew off the handle, screaming that the firm had 15,000 employees and of course psychopaths worked there. Then after a moment, she collected herself and regained her self composure. This was a big “aha-moment” for me. Her reaction told me (or confirmed) that sociopaths recognize each other, that they defend each other (i.e., that they have self awareness and a group identity), and that it is actually difficult for them to pass for normal at will — it is a very big effort of will that can slip in an instant. It was clear that sociopaths live in a pejorative universe — she interpreted my discussion of this individual as an attack on sociopaths and she just had to respond.

I had seen something very similar in an interview of David Hampton (of Six Degrees of Separation fame) by Keith Morrison. David Hampton (who was the conman on whom Six Degrees was based) was bragging about what a great liar he was. Keith Morrison then told him he was nothing but a “god-damn liar.” David then threw his glass of wine in Keith’s face. A non-sociopathic liar might have continued his bragging with a “Yeah, what about it” type response. But David Hampton could not not respond to the emotions behind the term, god-damn liar. The emotional pejorativeness was like a red cape to a bull, a challenge that could not go unanswered. (I saw this interview in a Bill Kurtis production, Justice Files or American Justice, titled Diabolical Minds. This is to the best of my recollection, I have never been able to track down this Kurtis TV production since.)

As a side note I once saw David Hampton at the W72nd St. subway station. I’ll never forget the unpleasant look he shot me, either he didn’t like being recognized or perhaps I was staring at him.

I try to stay away from formal definitions lest one confuse the definition with the reality. Definitions and words, themselves, are only a stab at capturing reality — I prefer keeping definitions more fluid. Yet obviously there has to be a way of identifying a subject of discussion to ensure that participants are discussing the same thing. So let me give you my informal definition of sociopathy.

Their over-riding quality is a complete lack of empathy for others’ emotions. Others are seen as pawns to be manipulated and preyed upon, remorselessly, without mercy. It is also an across-the-board arrested development disorder. These individuals are undeveloped morally, sexually, personality-wise — literally in every way.

Furthermore there is a continuum here, they vary from those who can’t avoid criminality, who can’t hold a job, who can’t even make a pretense of parenting (some are so extreme that they can only be described as “aliens masquerading as humans” ) to those who can hold responsible jobs, maintain stable marriages and be seemingly dutiful parents (which actually they are still not, responsible parenting (soul nurturing parenting) is simply beyond the sociopathic biological arrangement). What they all hold in common is the basic lack of empathy for others and viewing others as fools to be manipulated or preyed upon.

In terms of the crafty individual you described, it sounds very well like she could be sociopathic. In my experience they are often very dogged in the pursuit of their stratagems. Sociopaths are also much, much more common that generally realized.

I don’t know the arguments with DSM-IV. It’s a standard where some kind of a standard is needed. But then, I’m not a professional.

There once was a very crafty person whose goal in life was to find someone she could push to “go postal”. I’m thinking she would be a sociopath. She was obsessive and immature.

So, what is your formal definition of sociopath?